How to Name Your Bike
A very serious subject 🧐
I didn't always name my bikes…
I only started when I moved to the UK in 2007. Prior to this, in Japan, I had 3 bikes (because 2 were stolen - the Japanese only steal umbrellas and bikes), and they were all unnamed. They were utilitarian, secondhand, and transitory in more ways than one. Cycling was just a way to get around and widely accepted. I was unattached.
However, in the UK cycling is fringe: as a literally marginalised road user, my identity solidified. To other road users I became a Cyclist with a capital "C", usually spoken in disdain and with the adjective "bloody" in front of it. But in my mind I became a Centaur. My bike and I joined as one as we navigated through unwelcome terrain (potholes) and unfriendly road users (white vans). I depended on my bike as much as it depended on me. And so I began to name them. Plus, it was fun.
Bikes I have known and loved:
Jean Claud van Bike
Bruce
Debbie
Foxy Brown
Athena
Barbarella
Uhura
I have also taken to naming some of my partner's bikes, as he doesn't care for the subject, but they are guests in our stable:
Blue Steel
Commando
And the recently christened Willy Wonka
Not all of them have told me their names (more on this in a sec).
😒 Some of you will balk at this. No matter. This newsletter topic is not for you.
😃 Some of you are enthusiastic namers - if so, pop your bike names down in the comments!
🤔 This newsletter is for the name-curious. The ones who want to name their bike but don't know where to start or what name will suit, or are scared to choose anything coz they might choose poorly. It’s kind of like getting your first tattoo - stop deliberating and just get one already. That's when the real journey begins. (My first tattoo was sh!te, but I never looked back.)
Here are my thoughts:
Your bike will tell you its name
It will tell you its name when it's ready
You must listen to / pay attention to your bike to hear it's name
Sometimes your bike's name will change, and that's ok
Be nice to your bike and choose a nice name. I once asked someone their bike's name, and they used a racial slur. That was not a good day.
I didn't name any of my bikes straight away. In fact, some of them didn't tell me their name for a good long while. This is not something to rush.
But also, if you have a name in mind, use it! Try it on and see if it fits.
If you want to get ideas, check out some baby naming websites.
An extensive one: https://www.thebump.com/b/baby-name-generator
A basic one: https://www.babynamegenie.com/baby-name-generator
Look up ancient ancestral deities. Name it after your favourite MP (like Stewart Lee naming his cat Jeremy Corbyn), or your favourite 80's singer/naughties TV show character (my cat is named George-Michael).
Or don’t. It doesn’t matter to me. But it’s something I enjoy doing, and it could bring a small bit of silly joy into your day, and we could all use a bit of silly joy these days.
NEW CLASS DATES
Introduction to Maintenance and Emergency Roadside Repairs have been selling like hotcakes, so new dates have been added.
We’ve also got new dates for:
Introduction to Indexing Gears
How to Change a Chain & Cassette
And don’t forget our new Wheel Building Series: How to Replace a Spoke, and How to Lace & True a Wheel.
Grand Re-Opening?
Some interesting news from our end: we are considering re-opening the DIY space in time for summer. But this will require a Go Fund Me to fundraise enough money to get it ready. I'm not doing another crowdfund as it turns out the last time we did one 1/3 of the money raised went to the rewards (a detrimental miscalculation on my part), and it also made me ill for 6 months afterwards.
So in the interest of preserving my mental and physical health, Go Fund Me it is.
This notice is just to plant the seed of what's coming up, and ask you to start saving up your pennies. We'll have more details to share as and when...
If it wasn’t clear before, it is certainly clear now that the US and UK are now complicit in Israel’s genocide. The US government is planning a huge $32 BILLION arms package: $18bn in arms PLUS the $14bn in “aid” part of a separate larger package for other forever wars.
As ever, reporter Jonathan Katz provides insight:
…Biden’s problem—and ours—isn’t Netanyhau. It’s Israel. Biden has the legal tools to stop the flow of weapons to a genocidarie who is openly declaring his intention to “finish the job” of ethnic cleansing and unchecked escalation with a growing world power. Israelis love to shout about how they don’t need to justify their actions to anyone; that they are self-dependent and not a catspaw for any empire, including the US.
Good. Then they can go out on their own. For us, as James Baldwin wrote in 1963, worse than being party to the crime of destroying hundreds of thousands of lives is the fact that we “do not know it and do not want to know it.” It is, he said, “the innocence which constitutes the crime.”
You can read his full report here.
In more local news, the ghost of Thatcher still sh!ts on us. Rowers in the annual Thames Boat Race were reportedly vomiting beforehand, and Cambridge (who won) refused to throw their cox in the water, opting instead to dump a bucket of water over their head.
It's like last year's UK World Champs triathlon all over again. I wonder when right wing (and Starmer Labour) voters will learn to not sh!t where they swim? You can’t drink money.
Anyone here have experience with some natural flea removal materials and tactics? George-Michael has fleas and I am discombobulated with the market. I’d rather not use the industrial pesticide stuff…
Anyhow, have a lovely week, go get some vitamin D.
I leave you with a video that shows I’m not the only one who names my bike.
Ride on,
Jenni x
When I lived in London I bought a Tokyo Bike from the Shoreditch store. I worked in Clerkenwell and lived in Stockwell, and LOVED cycling to work and back. (fairweather, obvs). My yellow bike is called MANGO - her name was and is perfect for her! She's now with me in Germany, and every time I ride her I think of those London days.
Two of my bikes have names! Morpheus (god of dreams) for my road bike and Brompy (no surprise, that's the Brompton). But my commuter bike hasn't yet revealed herself...