Late Stage Capitalist Bike Maintenance

FIGHT THE MAN, CLEAN YOUR BIKE

Hey folks - a quick note to say thank you so much for all the love shown from the last newsletter - I got a dopamine rush from all the likes! ❤️ And a warm welcome to new subscribers, and paid subs. I look forward to having you along on this journey.

Speaking of journeys, I’ve just returned from a very hot 12 day holiday in Cyprus (meeting my partner’s extended family - yikes), and my brain is fried like halloumi (mmm halloumi 🤤) To that end, here is one of my favourite newsletters, a ‘greatest hit’ if you will. And I think I’ll also make it a regular thing to dig into the ol’ Mail Chump archives and resurrect posts that are evergreenly useful. Please enjoy.

Servicing your bike is a radical act.

[Movie voice:] In a world that wants you to throw everything away (regardless of whether or not it's broken), the simple acts of cleaning, mending, and reusing are vital tools to fighting the system. [/movievoice]

The bike industry was one of the first industries to adopt the model of planned obsolescence.

Parts actually did last longer 50 years ago because they were made of stronger (and heavier) materials like steel. But weight weenies demanded to be catered for, and in the race to the bottom we now see components made of alloy, an aluminium amalgamation that is light and cheap (but not strong). While alloy has the potential to be made well (e.g. rims from the 80's 😻), most of the time we will see poor quality stuff made of cheese.

Add to this the proliferation of "crabon" (it's just plastic guys), and we end up with mountains of un-recyclable, un-reusable, un-mendable crap. The industry has soooo much petroleum & blood on its hands.

REPAIR FOR THE REVOLUTION

Regular maintenance extends the life of parts that are designed to wear down (consumables).

The simple act of cleaning your bike wards off waste - your parts last longer, you send less to landfill, AND you save money. Now that’s a winning trifecta. 🙌

Here are our anti-toxic-capitalist cleaning + maintenance tips!

1. Clean with 99% rubbing alcohol or cheap vodka

• first wipe down braking surfaces with a CLEAN rag

• then clean the rest of your bike and end with your chain

• do not use surgical spirit or a liquor that has essential oils in it (like gin or tequila)

• here is a video if you require visual stimulation

• note that rubbing alcohol is not biodegradable (and it derives from petroleum - UGH) hence the suggestion of cheap vodka. Students have also had success with bathtub moonshine - but remember, no gin!

2. Use dry lube on your chain

• dry lube is wax based so it won't attract dirt/grit: your chain stays cleaner, longer. It will wash off in the rain, but just reapply when you hear the squeaks!

• get the eco kind - teflon is EVIL - we like this one

• start at the quick link, one drop on each roller - that's it

• if you use an all-purpose or wet lube, you MUST wipe down the chain after lubing. Otherwise the excess lube will attract more dirt/grit and speed up the wear of your drivetrain 💸💸💸

• I suppose you could try a cooking oil if you were desperate, but you should probably stick to bike specific stuff in this instance (we haven’t tested it - let us know in the comments if you have!)

3. Keep your tyres pumped

• prevent the entirely preventable 'snake bite' puncture, caused by under-inflated tyres hitting a curb / pothole

• pump up at least once a month, and use a track pump - those little hand job thingies are never gonna get you up to pressure!

4. Store your bike indoors

• protect it from the elements! UK climate is moist and salty. Slow down corrosion/rust by keeping the bike inside. I know this isn’t possible for everyone, but do what you can - sleep with your bike if you have to!

5. RIDE SLOWER!!! JFC don’t behave like a bloody driver

• you'll have more efficient braking, slow down brake pad/braking surface wear, and increase your braking response time

• you can avoid pitfalls of the road: glass, potholes, pedestrians, etc

• ride chill, arrive chill

• why in capitalism’s name are you in a hurry anyway?

6. Use your gears if you have them

• S  P  R  E  A  D  the wear of your chain/cassette/chainring over ALL the components. Otherwise you are throwing money (and metal) away

• Downshift into an easier gear when you slow down (did you know: you can brake and shift at the same time?) You will mitigate the wear of your components and your knees

• If you don’t like cycling in all the gears, move to one (1) gear: I wrote a book about converting a vintage bike into a single speed! And scroll to the bottom to find a video all about it too.

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WANNA LEARN MORE?

TEACHERS ARE STANDING BY

Get up close and personal with your cycle with our in-person classes!

Introduction to Maintenance is our flagship course.

You will learn the mother of all bike checks, the M-check: this professional level inspection ensures you catch problems before they become PROB£€M$. Keep tabs on your bike and keep money in your wallet!

We will also go over puncture repair (tubes), usually the first hurdle new cyclists encounter. Now you can face your flats with a bag of tips & tricks up your sleeve.

Classes fill up fast so book today to avoid disappointment!

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GET READY TO TAPE!

Want some fresh bar tape and to help LBK at the same time?

We are raising money to pay for our £6600 VAT bill through 1:1 bar taping lessons!

When you arrive you’ll draw from our Lucky Dip bag of bar tape. Which colour you will get will be up to statistics! Then you’ll head off with one of the mechanics for a 30 minute lesson in professional bar taping. (Of course you can choose black if you like, but that’s an extra £12).

You will learn:

• why rotational direction matters

• how much tension to apply

• why you’re not supposed to use the entire roll

• how to ensure the tape doesn’t undo itself

• how to get that segggsy smooth finish with electrical tape

• why bar end plugs are an essential safety feature

Tickets are by donation, suggested donation £25 but please give more if you can.

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That’s all for now friends, I leave you with a video on how to make a bike that sticks it to the man: the single speed.

Ride on,

Jenni x