Hide Your Holes
🥕 I gave you the carrot, now here's the stick 🔨
Content warning: I will describe graphic trauma to balls
Bar Tape Pros & Cons
In those sweet heady days of the 2010's fixiedemic, you had one of 3 choices for your handlebars: chop shop, bull horn, or nude drops.
Of these 3, the nude drops are a total and utter safety hazard (much like the rider who had them).
You see, when it comes to drop bars, there's this thing called "coring" (as in apple 🍎). And it happens so often that it has a name.
You get into a crash, and the bar goes through your leg or whatever soft tissue it happens to land on.
I know someone that this happened to - he described to me in wincing detail how he had to cradle his actual testicles (not scrotum - TESTES. The thing inside) until the ambulance showed up.
DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU!
HIDE YOUR HOLES!
THEY ARE NOT "COOL"!
Cover your bar ends! They are far worse than a peeking nipple.
I know of free range mechanics who carry spare bar end plugs wherever they roam, silently plugging exposed holes, smug in the knowledge they have saved a thigh or two.
Things you could use to plug your bars in an emergency:
wine cork (a champagne cork is bad luck tho)
plastic pipe arm
sugru or fixits
rolled up innertube
let your imagination run wild!
If a wine cork is too big, whittle it down.
If you have trouble making narrow plugs stay in, try wrapping masking tape around it. And your bar tape should have a .5cm lip that should be pushed in, also helping the bar end plug stay.
Bar tape itself is necessary for grip, steering, and handling. And the bar end plug will save you a trip to A&E.
I mean come on, just look at this sexy fresh tape! It's like giving your bike a shampoo, cut, & blowdry 💅
Start the autumnal season off right: sign up for our Bar Tape-a-Thon, happening Sunday 1 October!
Want some fresh bar tape and to help LBK at the same time?
We are raising money to pay for our £6600 VAT bill through 1:1 bar taping lessons!
When you arrive you’ll draw from our Lucky Dip bag of bar tape. Which colour you will get will be up to statistics! Then you’ll head off with one of the mechanics for a 30 minute lesson in professional bar taping. (Of course you can choose black if you like, but that’s an extra £12).
You will learn:
why rotational direction matters
how much tension to apply
why you’re not supposed to use the entire roll
how to ensure the tape doesn’t undo itself
how to get that segggsy smooth finish with electrical tape
why bar end plugs are an essential safety feature
Tickets are by donation, suggested donation £25 but please give more if you can.
NEW CLASS DATES POSTED
New class topics are coming soon, promise.
Classes fill up fast so book today to avoid disappointment!
The light is slipping from us, so daytime weekday classes will remain £75, but evening & weekend classes are now £85. We are concerned about our safety at night, but will commit to one evening class per week. More adjustments to our schedule to come…
That’s all for now friends. I leave you with a brilliant video by The Bike Project, who are holding their yearly Jokes and Spokes fundraiser on Thursday 5 October. This year’s cohort features one of my fave comedians, Stewart Lee!
Ride on,
Jenni x
ps. if you haven’t booked your 1:1 bar taping lesson yet, half of our tix have been sold already and I know how much Londoners like to book themselves in last minute, so snap yours up here before it’s too late: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/londonbikekitchen/983441
I was warned sternly about this at the age of about 13 and I've been good ever since 😇